Bed Time Story
On my wedding day, I carried my wife in my arms. The bridal car stoppedin front of our one-room flat. My buddies insisted that I carry her outof the car in my arms. So I carried her into our home. She was thenplump and shy. I was a strong and happy bridegroom.This was the scene of ten years ago. The following days were as simpleas a cup of pure water: we had a kid; I went into business and triedto make more money. When the assets were steadily increasing, theaffections between us seemed to ebb. She was a civil servant. Everymorning we left home together and got home almost at the same time.Our kid was studying in a boarding school.Our marriage life seemed to be enviably happy. But the calm life wasmore likely to be affected by unpredictable changes.Dew came into my life.It was a sunny day. I stood on a spacious balcony. Dew hugged me frombehind. My heart once again was immersed in her stream of love.
Thiswasthe apartment I bought for her.Dew said, "You are the kind of man who best draws girls' eyeballs."Her words suddenly reminded me of my wife. When we just married, mywife said, "Men like you, once successful, will be very attractive togirls."Thinking of this, I became somewhat hesitant. I knew I had betrayed mywife. But I couldn't help doing so.I moved Dew's hands aside and said," You go to select some furniture,O.K.? I've got something to do in the company." Obviously she wasunhappy, because I had promised her to go and see with her. At themoment, the ideaof divorce became clearer in my mind although it used to be somethingimpossible to me.However, I found it rather difficult to tell my wife about it. Nomatter how mildly I mentioned it to her, she would be deeply hurt.
Honestly, she was a good wife. Every evening she was busy preparing dinner. I was sitting in front of the TV. The dinner was ready soon.Then we watched TV together. Or, I would lounge before the computer,visualizing Dew's body. This was the means of my entertainment.
One day I said to her in a slight joking way, "Suppose we divorce,what will you do?" She stared at me for a few seconds without a word.Apparently she believed that 'divorce' was something too far away fromher. I couldn't imagine how she would react once she got to know I wasserious.When my wife went to my office, Dew had just stepped out. Almost allthestaff looked at my wife with a sympathetic eye and tried to hidesomethingwhile talking with her. She seemed to have got some hint. She gentlysmiled at my subordinates. But I read some hurt in her eyes.Once again, Dew said to me, "He Ning, divorce her, O.K.? Then we livetogether." I nodded. I knew I could not hesitate any more.When my wife served the last dish, I held her hand. "I've gotsomething to tell you," I said.She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her knowwhat I was thinking. "I want to divorce." I raised a serious topiccalmly.She didn't seem to be much annoyed by my words, instead she asked mesoftly, "why?". "I'm serious." I avoided her question.
This so-calledanswer turned her angry.She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, "you are not a man!".At that night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knewshewanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I couldhardly give her a satisfactory answer, because my heart had gone toDew.With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which statedthat she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. I felt a pain in myheart. The woman who had been living ten years with me would become astranger one day. But I could not take back what I had said.
Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expectedto see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea ofdivorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmerand clearer.A late night, I came back home after entertaining my clients. I sawher writing something at the table. I fell asleep fast. When I wokeup, I found she was still there. I turned over and was asleep again.She brought up her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything fromme, but I was supposed to give her one month's time before divorce,and in the month's time we must live our life as normal as possible
.Her reason was simple: our son would finish his summer vacation a monthlater and she didn't want him to see that our marriage was broken.She passed me the agreement she drafted, and then asked me, "He Ning,doyou still remember how I entered our bridal room on the wedding day?"Thisquestion suddenly brought back all those wonderful memories to me. Inodded and said, "I remember". "You carried me in your arms", shecontinued, "so, I have a requirement, that is, you carry me out inyour arms on the day when we divorce. From now to the end of thismonth, you must carry me out from the bedroom to the door everymorning." I accepted with a smile.
I knew she missed those sweet daysand wished to end her marriage with a romantic form.I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions. She laughed loudly andthought it was absurd. "No matter what tricks she does, she has toface the result of divorce," she said scornfully. Her words more orless made me feel uncomfortable.My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intentionwas explicitly expressed. We even treated each other as a stranger. Sowhen I carried her out for the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Ourson clapped behind us, "daddy is holding mummy in his arms." His wordsbrought me a sense of pain.
From the bedroom to the sitting room, thento the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closedher eyes and said softly, "Let us start from today, don't tell ourson." I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside thedoor. She went to wait for the bus, I drove to office.On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on mychest. We were so close that I could smell the Fragrance of herblouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this intimate womancarefully for a long time. I found she was not young any more. Therewere some fine wrinkles on her face.
On the third day, she whispered to me, "The outside garden is beingdemolished. Be careful when you pass there."On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I seemed to feel that we werestill an intimate couple and I was holding my sweetheart in my arms.The visualization of Dew became more vague.On the fifth and sixth day, she kept reminding me something, such as,where she put the ironed shirts, I should be careful while cooking,etc.I nodded. The sense of intimacy was even stronger.I didn't tell Dew about this. I felt it was easier to carry her.Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. I said to her, "Itseems not difficult to carry you now."She was picking her dresses. I was waiting to carry her out. She triedquite a few but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "Allmy dresses have grown fatter." I smiled. But I suddenly realized thatit was because she was thinner that I could carry her more easily, notbecause I was stronger. I knew she had buried all the bitterness inher heart.Again, I felt a sense of pain. Subconsciously I reached out a hand totouch her head.Our son came in at the moment. "Dad, it's time to carry mum out," hesaid.To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had been anessential part of his life. She gestured our son to come closer andhugged him tightly.
I turned my face because I was afraid I wouldchange my mind at the last minute. I held her in my arms, walking fromthe bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her handsurrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, asif we came back to our wedding day.But her much lighter weight made me sad.On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move astep. Our son had gone to school. She said, "Actually, I hoped youwill hold me in your arms until we are old."I held her tightly and said, "Both you and I didn't notice that ourlife lacked of such intimacy."I jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraidany delay would make me change my decision. I walked upstairs. Dewopened the door. I said to her, "Sorry Dew, I won't divorce. I'mserious."She looked at me, astonished. The she touched my forehead. "You got nofever." She said. I moved her hand off my head."Sorry, Dew," I said, "I can only say sorry to you, I won't divorce.
My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't valuethe details of life, not because we didn't love each other any more.Now I understand that since I carried her into the home, she gavebirth to our child, I am supposed to hold her until I am old.
So Ihave to say sorry to you."Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and thenslammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and droveto the office.When I passed the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet for mywife which was her favorite. The salesgirl asked me to write thegreeting words on the card.I smiled and wrote, "I'll carry you out every morning until we areold."